Yesterday

Yesterday afternoon, while on a jeepney ride to meet The Millers, I saw a woman cross the street, wearing a black shirt that reads:

Yesterday: All my troubles seemed so far away.

Today: You're here.

Coincidence?

Day of Thunderous Reply

Keith Urban was at the Daytona 500 Sunday. 

When asked what his favorite movie about racing is, he said:

"Uhhh... 'Cars?' "

Dark Knight

At the British Academy Awards Sunday:

"It is a nerve-racking experience.... Inside I'm shaking like Christian Bale's PA."

- Jonathan Ross on being the host 

Work Done

From the Screen Actors Guild Awards last week:

"It's great fun. You see who's had work done. You see what thespians are aging, who aren't. We just stopped around the corner for a Starbucks, and half the people are in their limos at Starbucks just circling because no one wants to arrive too early." -Tracey Ullman

My Commander

Today at the Misa de Gallo, the priest relayed the story of three mothers talking about their sons.

Mother Number One says her son has been practicing law for quite some time now. People have started calling him Your Honor.

Number Two has a son who has been made bishop, so he is now Your Eminence.

Three's son has turned so large, he is now a planet unto himself. When people see him,  they exclaim, "My God!"

Upon hearing this, my girlfriend turned to me and said, "At the office, they call me Bossing."

I didn't know I was dating Vic.

Prime Target

Jay Leno is moving to NBC's prime time. Here's what the comics had to say about it this week: 

"A lot of people were shocked. They didn't know NBC still had a prime time."

- Jay Leno

"Welcome to the 'Late Show.' Still at 11:35."

-David Letterman

"Jay's getting a little older now. So 10 p.m. is kinda 'late night' for Jay."

-Craig Ferguson

The Winner

"Who are the real winners in this election? Don't ask me. Ask Joe the Plumber's agent." - Stephen Colbert, Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report."